1. |
Prologue
00:45
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Of course it could be the sunset...maybe gulls over the lake which tries so hard to glisten. We’d be sitting there, our minds screaming and our mouths clipped shut...
And I would say, “wow, what a beautiful sunset.”
And then my hand would find yours and grab it and not let it go, and you would tell me I’m beautiful and I’d say, “you’re beautiful too.”
We wouldn’t have to kiss or anything. All I really want in the first place is to hold your hand.
I don’t know.
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2. |
Invocation Of The Muse
01:39
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Basia mille, lay 'em on me kid
I wanna feel like old Catullus did
Gallia est omnis divisa in partes three
Boy I wanna know your geography
New's what isn't novus and what's novel isn't news
Spread me underneath you, baby, invocate my muse
Cano aurum virumque, that vir of whom I sing
A thousand kisses, then a hundred to me he will bring
Build me up a temple, baby, build a colosseum
Bring the pontifex, it's been a while since I've seen 'em
Love me like a gladiator, kiss me through the wall
Meet me after dark, take down the lion if I fall
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3. |
Jane Tragic
02:14
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nice to meet you
my name’s jane tragic
I come from the land of stars and magic
I like to be alone when I can
my head was filled with nothingness
what’s in there now I can only guess
escapist introspection is my plan
how you been and
where you going
I’m from the nation of never knowing
when I’m sad I sit on the floor
come with me to my tragic world
titanium walls and magnesium girls
I’ve got a passage but they took my door
nice to meet you
my name’s jane tragic
I lost my hope and I can’t seem to catch it
can you help my hope find its way
it’s not that I don’t think you’re great;
it’s just that I tend to isolate
I really need you to stay
I really need you to stay
I really need you
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4. |
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you’re all I have
boy
all I need in the world
a bleeding boy, a starving girl
in this glass box
boy
don’t you leave me here alone
my candle once so brightly shone
fuck you, you’re all I got
fuck you, you’re all I want
I want you baby baby doll to be okay
help me baby baby help me find my way
fuck you, you’re all I got
fuck you, you’re all I want
I want you baby baby doll to be okay
help me baby baby help me find my way
blades on my skin
oh
the sight of blood makes me sick
I wanna bleed, I wanna lick
please never go
oh
please never melt away
unstuck in time yesterday
fuck you, you’re all I got
fuck you, you’re all I want
I want you baby baby doll to be okay
help me baby baby help me find my way
fuck you, you’re all I got
fuck you, you’re all I want
I want you baby baby doll to be okay
help me baby baby help me find my way
you’re all I have
you’re all I have
all I have, all I have
all I have
ohhhhh
fuck you, you’re all I got
fuck you, you’re all I want
I want you baby baby doll to be okay
help me baby baby help me find my way
fuck you, you’re all I got
fuck you, you’re all I want
I want you baby baby doll to be okay
help me baby baby help me find my way
please never go
please never go
please never go, never go
never go
never go
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5. |
Pill Affair
02:15
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Lyin’ in the grass at the top of the hill
I love you and you love your pills
I’ll take back the stars we shared
Kissing to a symphony of glassy light
I love you and it is all right
fuck you and your pill affair
That pill affair’s bringing me down
Shot the future to the ground
Love like fire
dance like flame
Do you even remember my name
The pill affair is helping me see
you’re my past and my future is me
Was desire
was insane
But do you even remember my name
Killin with an icicle, killin with a sting
pain medication is the only thing
Lying underneath the sheets
Kissin to a symphony of faking dead
Heart palpitations and an airy head
Stop my breath but my heart still beats
Take my hand and we’ll walk a mile
Pompeii breath and a Roman smile
Pills and thrills and blood and song
I love my aripiprazole
lovin to the beat of Tylenol
Pill affair all night long
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6. |
Rope
03:10
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I was born out of spite
I was living out of hope
that my future would be bright
and my past would be revoked
but the tide came my way
right around yesterday
and I heard your voice when you weren’t speaking
I’m lost in a daze
and I can’t get out of bed
my mind’s in a maze
and I would rather die instead
‘cause my head’s on the floor
it’s not pretty anymore
and I hope you can’t see what I’m thinking
give me something to cling to
a rope, not to hang, but to climb
my life’s not something to sing to
and there’s no reason to my rhyme
I was raised on a song
I was brought up on a truth
and the future was long
and the past was pleasant too
but the light washed away
right around yesterday
and the misery is all that seems to matter
The sun’s above my head,
but I’m sitting in a hole
and the walls are made of lead
and down here it’s dark and cold
So I’ll sit and write a song,
wait for you to come along
even pills, they can’t build me a ladder
give me something to cling to
a rope, not to hang, but to climb
my life’s not something to sing to
and there’s no reason to my rhyme
give me something to sing to
cause I think I’m running out of time
my life’s not something to cling to
and I have lost the strength to climb
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7. |
Vera (Pink Floyd cover)
00:37
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Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
Remember when she said we would meet again some sunny day?
Vera! Vera! What has become of you?
Does anybody else in here feel the way I do?
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8. |
Interlogue
01:12
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Before I lost hope I wasn’t afraid of dying. Guess I thought I was pretty brave, huh? I mean it, I thought I was brave.
When was the moment I gave up? I mean, that’s kind of a difficult question. It was before he left me, I know. In fact, it was right around when the addiction got bad.
Yeah, to him, but also to, you know. I won’t say it. It’s rather gruesome.
You know what I’m asking myself? Why can’t I be, like, Biggie Smalls? He knew pain. But the interlogue to his album is all sex noises. I’m serious! The song’s called “Fuck Me.” Why can’t my interlogue just be sex noises?
Yeah, I guess so.
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9. |
@ the fair
02:03
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I wanna be at the fair
you’re so fair
spin me around
spin me around
I’m out of my brainsssssssss
invasion from spacessssss
spin me around
spin me around
carnival time
alone time
I’m nothing yet
but you just wait
I’m out of my brainssssssss
invasions from spacessssss
spin me around
spin me around
So hey, sinner, hey sin,
what have you got sitting under your skin?
Hey lover, don’t leave,
what have you got hidden under your sleeve?
And I say hey, sinner, hey sin,
what have you got sitting under your skin?
Hey, lover, don’t leave,
what have you got hidden under your sleeve?
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10. |
Prime
02:40
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Sick kid standing up against the wall
Blow my mind away in a bubble
kiss me now on the passing breeze
if it wouldn’t be too much trouble
Sick kid standing up against the wall
blow my mind away in a bubble
kiss me now on the passing breeze
if it wouldn’t be too much trouble
Are we in our prime?
Are we in our prime?
Mental kid is my middle name
I got a ukulele and a fucked-up brain
love me now in the falling rain
I want you to never ever ever feel this pain
Mental kid is my full name
I got a ukulele and a fucked-up brain
love me now in the falling rain
ooh you’re driving me insane
Are we in our prime?
Are we in our prime?
Ten years later listen to the Wall
Remember how he blew out your candle
Heartbreak’s fine but a smile’s all
Everything that I couldn’t handle
I said-a ten years later I remember it all
Remember how he blew out my candle
Heartbreak’s fine but a smile’s all
Everything that I couldn’t handle
Are we in our prime?
Are we in our prime?
Sick kid standing up against the wall
your life’s been short and your candle’s tall
blow my mind away in a bubble
ooh I hope I’m not too much trouble
Are we in our prime?
Are we in our prime?
Are we in our prime?
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11. |
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I live down the street from you
You've noticed me I've never seen you
Wonder what the fuck I do
Listen up, you nosy bitch
Listen close
My most recent purchase, old black rope
Gonna learn how to tie it
Hang it in my chamber
A perfect reminder
Occult I'm made of
Come try it out whenever you wanna
Last night, 3:30 in the morning, death on my front porch, can feel him itchin to take me with him
Hail death, fuck you waiting for?
Like a question no one mention
He turns around hands me his weapon
He slurs, "use at your own discretion, it's been a pleasure
"it's been a pleasure, Jane Tragic"
All the nights I don't die for you
Wouldn't believe how many nights I ain't died for you
Not that I care
I'd be a liar if I sat here claiming I'd exit in a minute
But I can't say I wouldn't
I have my limits
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12. |
Mary Iguana
02:24
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Do you wanna hang out maybe
Knew you when you were a baby
In the grass we made our perch
Playing school inside the church
We read books and went to school
Played it smart, we played it cool
In the church we did our time
In the barn we did our crime
So hey, Mary Iguana
We're young, so do you wanna
Go out and play
Hey, Mary Iguana
We'll run
And we'll never look back, we'll never look back
Today
Walk until our feet are sore
Candy from the dollar store
Ice cream from the old gas station
From the dirt we build our nation
Always question how and why
Call me if you wanna cry
We are young, we'll catch some eyes
People's hearts we'll vandalize
You're the love and I'm the limb
You're the praise and I'm the hymn
You're the reason, I'm the rhyme
You're the clock and I'm the time
Love will be our alibi
Laughter is our fighting cry
One day there won't be no hurt
Sickness won't turn me to durt
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13. |
Boy
03:11
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love was sold; I didn’t try it
advertised, I didn’t buy it
but then my boy walked into my life
didn’t unlock any door
I’d seen those velvet rooms before
but he took the blade out of the knife
boy, my boy
he got me hoppin, got me jumpin up with joy
and when we lie in the tall grass and watch the clouds
you know I’m loving you aloud
and all of this time
I’ve been trying to find
my boy
death was on a silver platter
implications didn’t matter
gave me water, seeds, and then a choice
city lights showed me a route
life within and life without
raised a glass, a child, and my voice
stop crying, Aurunculeia
ain’t that what the poets say-ah
there’s no girl more beautiful and coy
but I’m better off than her
cause we aren’t what the Romans were
she’s got strangers and I’ve got my boy
my boy is my raging sea
my boy is my rosary
didn’t know my heart could be so strong
You, the things you say to reach me,
All the little things you teach me
You are what I wanted all along
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14. |
Epilogue
01:14
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I would ask why you hate me, but I don’t think I want to know.
In any case, I love you. I think I will for the rest of my life. It’s my damnation. Do I miss you? No. Do I want to see you again? No. Do I have better people in my life now? Absolutely. I have fallen in love with my best friend, and I finally love myself. And I finally feel beautiful.
I forgive you for everything. One year ago today you attempted suicide twice while on the phone with me. I forgive you for the lies and the pain and the trauma. I don’t care if you’re not sorry.
I am healthy. You are alive.
I hope you forgive me one day.
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Jane Tragic Nashville, Tennessee
heartsick proletarian folk punk & alt-folk from nashville
instagram: @janetragic
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