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Jane Tragic

by Jane Tragic

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1.
Prologue 00:45
Of course it could be the sunset...maybe gulls over the lake which tries so hard to glisten. We’d be sitting there, our minds screaming and our mouths clipped shut... And I would say, “wow, what a beautiful sunset.” And then my hand would find yours and grab it and not let it go, and you would tell me I’m beautiful and I’d say, “you’re beautiful too.” We wouldn’t have to kiss or anything. All I really want in the first place is to hold your hand. I don’t know.
2.
Basia mille, lay 'em on me kid I wanna feel like old Catullus did Gallia est omnis divisa in partes three Boy I wanna know your geography New's what isn't novus and what's novel isn't news Spread me underneath you, baby, invocate my muse Cano aurum virumque, that vir of whom I sing A thousand kisses, then a hundred to me he will bring Build me up a temple, baby, build a colosseum Bring the pontifex, it's been a while since I've seen 'em Love me like a gladiator, kiss me through the wall Meet me after dark, take down the lion if I fall
3.
Jane Tragic 02:14
nice to meet you my name’s jane tragic I come from the land of stars and magic I like to be alone when I can my head was filled with nothingness what’s in there now I can only guess escapist introspection is my plan how you been and where you going I’m from the nation of never knowing when I’m sad I sit on the floor come with me to my tragic world titanium walls and magnesium girls I’ve got a passage but they took my door nice to meet you my name’s jane tragic I lost my hope and I can’t seem to catch it can you help my hope find its way it’s not that I don’t think you’re great; it’s just that I tend to isolate I really need you to stay I really need you to stay I really need you
4.
you’re all I have boy all I need in the world a bleeding boy, a starving girl in this glass box boy don’t you leave me here alone my candle once so brightly shone fuck you, you’re all I got fuck you, you’re all I want I want you baby baby doll to be okay help me baby baby help me find my way fuck you, you’re all I got fuck you, you’re all I want I want you baby baby doll to be okay help me baby baby help me find my way blades on my skin oh the sight of blood makes me sick I wanna bleed, I wanna lick please never go oh please never melt away unstuck in time yesterday fuck you, you’re all I got fuck you, you’re all I want I want you baby baby doll to be okay help me baby baby help me find my way fuck you, you’re all I got fuck you, you’re all I want I want you baby baby doll to be okay help me baby baby help me find my way you’re all I have you’re all I have all I have, all I have all I have ohhhhh fuck you, you’re all I got fuck you, you’re all I want I want you baby baby doll to be okay help me baby baby help me find my way fuck you, you’re all I got fuck you, you’re all I want I want you baby baby doll to be okay help me baby baby help me find my way please never go please never go please never go, never go never go never go
5.
Pill Affair 02:15
Lyin’ in the grass at the top of the hill I love you and you love your pills I’ll take back the stars we shared Kissing to a symphony of glassy light I love you and it is all right fuck you and your pill affair That pill affair’s bringing me down Shot the future to the ground Love like fire dance like flame Do you even remember my name The pill affair is helping me see you’re my past and my future is me Was desire was insane But do you even remember my name Killin with an icicle, killin with a sting pain medication is the only thing Lying underneath the sheets Kissin to a symphony of faking dead Heart palpitations and an airy head Stop my breath but my heart still beats Take my hand and we’ll walk a mile Pompeii breath and a Roman smile Pills and thrills and blood and song I love my aripiprazole lovin to the beat of Tylenol Pill affair all night long
6.
Rope 03:10
I was born out of spite I was living out of hope that my future would be bright and my past would be revoked but the tide came my way right around yesterday and I heard your voice when you weren’t speaking I’m lost in a daze and I can’t get out of bed my mind’s in a maze and I would rather die instead ‘cause my head’s on the floor it’s not pretty anymore and I hope you can’t see what I’m thinking give me something to cling to a rope, not to hang, but to climb my life’s not something to sing to and there’s no reason to my rhyme I was raised on a song I was brought up on a truth and the future was long and the past was pleasant too but the light washed away right around yesterday and the misery is all that seems to matter The sun’s above my head, but I’m sitting in a hole and the walls are made of lead and down here it’s dark and cold So I’ll sit and write a song, wait for you to come along even pills, they can’t build me a ladder give me something to cling to a rope, not to hang, but to climb my life’s not something to sing to and there’s no reason to my rhyme give me something to sing to cause I think I’m running out of time my life’s not something to cling to and I have lost the strength to climb
7.
Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn? Remember when she said we would meet again some sunny day? Vera! Vera! What has become of you? Does anybody else in here feel the way I do?
8.
Interlogue 01:12
Before I lost hope I wasn’t afraid of dying. Guess I thought I was pretty brave, huh? I mean it, I thought I was brave. When was the moment I gave up? I mean, that’s kind of a difficult question. It was before he left me, I know. In fact, it was right around when the addiction got bad. Yeah, to him, but also to, you know. I won’t say it. It’s rather gruesome. You know what I’m asking myself? Why can’t I be, like, Biggie Smalls? He knew pain. But the interlogue to his album is all sex noises. I’m serious! The song’s called “Fuck Me.” Why can’t my interlogue just be sex noises? Yeah, I guess so.
9.
@ the fair 02:03
I wanna be at the fair you’re so fair spin me around spin me around I’m out of my brainsssssssss invasion from spacessssss spin me around spin me around carnival time alone time I’m nothing yet but you just wait I’m out of my brainssssssss invasions from spacessssss spin me around spin me around So hey, sinner, hey sin, what have you got sitting under your skin? Hey lover, don’t leave, what have you got hidden under your sleeve? And I say hey, sinner, hey sin, what have you got sitting under your skin? Hey, lover, don’t leave, what have you got hidden under your sleeve?
10.
Prime 02:40
Sick kid standing up against the wall Blow my mind away in a bubble kiss me now on the passing breeze if it wouldn’t be too much trouble Sick kid standing up against the wall blow my mind away in a bubble kiss me now on the passing breeze if it wouldn’t be too much trouble Are we in our prime? Are we in our prime? Mental kid is my middle name I got a ukulele and a fucked-up brain love me now in the falling rain I want you to never ever ever feel this pain Mental kid is my full name I got a ukulele and a fucked-up brain love me now in the falling rain ooh you’re driving me insane Are we in our prime? Are we in our prime? Ten years later listen to the Wall Remember how he blew out your candle Heartbreak’s fine but a smile’s all Everything that I couldn’t handle I said-a ten years later I remember it all Remember how he blew out my candle Heartbreak’s fine but a smile’s all Everything that I couldn’t handle Are we in our prime? Are we in our prime? Sick kid standing up against the wall your life’s been short and your candle’s tall blow my mind away in a bubble ooh I hope I’m not too much trouble Are we in our prime? Are we in our prime? Are we in our prime?
11.
I live down the street from you You've noticed me I've never seen you Wonder what the fuck I do Listen up, you nosy bitch Listen close My most recent purchase, old black rope Gonna learn how to tie it Hang it in my chamber A perfect reminder Occult I'm made of Come try it out whenever you wanna Last night, 3:30 in the morning, death on my front porch, can feel him itchin to take me with him Hail death, fuck you waiting for? Like a question no one mention He turns around hands me his weapon He slurs, "use at your own discretion, it's been a pleasure "it's been a pleasure, Jane Tragic" All the nights I don't die for you Wouldn't believe how many nights I ain't died for you Not that I care I'd be a liar if I sat here claiming I'd exit in a minute But I can't say I wouldn't I have my limits
12.
Mary Iguana 02:24
Do you wanna hang out maybe Knew you when you were a baby In the grass we made our perch Playing school inside the church We read books and went to school Played it smart, we played it cool In the church we did our time In the barn we did our crime So hey, Mary Iguana We're young, so do you wanna Go out and play Hey, Mary Iguana We'll run And we'll never look back, we'll never look back Today Walk until our feet are sore Candy from the dollar store Ice cream from the old gas station From the dirt we build our nation Always question how and why Call me if you wanna cry We are young, we'll catch some eyes People's hearts we'll vandalize You're the love and I'm the limb You're the praise and I'm the hymn You're the reason, I'm the rhyme You're the clock and I'm the time Love will be our alibi Laughter is our fighting cry One day there won't be no hurt Sickness won't turn me to durt
13.
Boy 03:11
love was sold; I didn’t try it advertised, I didn’t buy it but then my boy walked into my life didn’t unlock any door I’d seen those velvet rooms before but he took the blade out of the knife boy, my boy he got me hoppin, got me jumpin up with joy and when we lie in the tall grass and watch the clouds you know I’m loving you aloud and all of this time I’ve been trying to find my boy death was on a silver platter implications didn’t matter gave me water, seeds, and then a choice city lights showed me a route life within and life without raised a glass, a child, and my voice stop crying, Aurunculeia ain’t that what the poets say-ah there’s no girl more beautiful and coy but I’m better off than her cause we aren’t what the Romans were she’s got strangers and I’ve got my boy my boy is my raging sea my boy is my rosary didn’t know my heart could be so strong You, the things you say to reach me, All the little things you teach me You are what I wanted all along
14.
Epilogue 01:14
I would ask why you hate me, but I don’t think I want to know. In any case, I love you. I think I will for the rest of my life. It’s my damnation. Do I miss you? No. Do I want to see you again? No. Do I have better people in my life now? Absolutely. I have fallen in love with my best friend, and I finally love myself. And I finally feel beautiful. I forgive you for everything. One year ago today you attempted suicide twice while on the phone with me. I forgive you for the lies and the pain and the trauma. I don’t care if you’re not sorry. I am healthy. You are alive. I hope you forgive me one day.

credits

released October 24, 2016

written, recorded, &c in the bedroom of Jane Tragic by themself

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Jane Tragic Nashville, Tennessee

heartsick proletarian folk punk & alt-folk from nashville

instagram: @janetragic

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