1. |
i'm proud of my arms
01:37
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i never thought that it would be him
i thought it'd be in an alley with a gun and a stranger's whim
but abuse it happens every day
so be careful to whom you give your love away
i never thought it would be him
but i was fucking wrong
so lemme write this song
i don't wanna live in a body that he took away
cause my body's never ever ever been the same since that day
i guess my voice was too damn weak
but i'm proud of my arms for pushing him off of me
i said my voice it was too damn weak
but thank god my arms could push him off of me
could push him off of me
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2. |
29 july
02:56
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i gave your sweaters to goodwill, baby
i sold your Walkman and your dvds
you know I loved those movies baby
but not as much as my autonomy
why did you stop me
when i tried to leave
until i pushed you away from me
i couldn’t get no relief
i told myself you were different baby
i told myself it was not that bad
i told my friend that i couldn’t stop you
my friend told me you were not like that
why did you stop me
when i tried to leave
until i pushed you away from me
i couldn’t get no relief
i gotta see myself every morning
see the body that once was mine
i find myself thinking about what you did
on the 29th of july
why did you stop me
when i tried to leave
until i pushed you away from me
i couldn’t get no relief
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3. |
fuck being clean
02:23
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i need some smoky chemicals to penetrate my brain
i need some dark uncanny blood to roll out of my veins
fuck being clean when love is so damn mean i need to find someone else to be
my ethos is a cocktail of lurasidone and weed
i’ve inhaled so much smoke that my lungs hurt when i breathe
let me pour a couple shots or let me light a j
to trick myself to thinkin that i’m gonna be okay
if my lungs ain’t dirty i never know what to fuckin do
and every time my eyes are dry it’s cause my tongue is too
i had my first panic attack today in front of jan
and now i’m goddamn terrified it’ll happen to me again
in the last year all my friends glowed up and i got fucking raped
and while they all got to be young i destroyed myself all day
everything reminds me of him and what he did
wish i could go back in time, wish i could be a kid
i felt bad for reporting my rape and i just needed help
my friend said he deserves it and he brought it on himself
this song started about drugs and now it’s about assault
and just like everything else i can’t tell if that’s my fault
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4. |
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it should have ended
a year ago
when he left my body
didn’t let nobody know
but it’s not over yet
not as long as i’m having flashbacks
but even though it’s not quite over
i’m grateful for the days i don’t wanna die
i’m grateful for the days i don’t wanna die
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5. |
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6. |
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my friend told me this fucker vaughn
said i shoulda up and offed myself
it got me thinking maybe he was right
but i started thinking of all the things
that i love in this world
and more than anything i love being alive
there was a time i thought i’d die
by suicide or cancer
that’s when i was still smoking
i thought that my life’d be short
my name’s jane tragic
i’m an addict
of drugs and nicotine
but the drugs are dead n gone and i love life
for the first time in years i imagined myself past 25
maybe i’ll live to fifty or fuck to eighty
when I’m eighty all retired
my old best friends all dead and gone
i’ll be sad but still grateful i’m alive
I’ll lie in hospice looking back
my rape will be so far in the past
and i’ll thank Jesus Christ i lived this long
yeah i'll thank Jesus Christ i lived this long
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Jane Tragic Nashville, Tennessee
heartsick proletarian folk punk & alt-folk from nashville
instagram: @janetragic
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